The Evolution of Emmett
by ZeldaNES
Summary: A deleted part of the wedding reception from Eternally Yours. Very funny.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer- I'm DxE, not Stephenie Meyer. So I don't own Twilight**

EPOV

After all the congratulations, Bella went to go talk to her mother. I gently leaned on the table and let out a small sigh while looking out at the party seeing all of our guests having a great time.

"_We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine.." _

Emmett. Whatever Emmett was planning, I was going to stop it. Nothing and no one is going to embarrass Bella today, and knowing Emmett, that was his most probable plan.

Quickly I made my way over to Rosalie, " If your husband dares to try and embarrass Bella today I will ri-"

"Hello? Is this thing on?" I whipped around to see Emmett on stage with a mic. At that exact moment, I knew.

It was all over.


	2. Our ? Song

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Disclaimer: -looks in mirror- Nope, I'm still not Stephenie Meyer, so I still don't own Twilight  
ALLON-Y!

BPOV

"Emmy?" I turn away from my mom to see my favorite bear, Emmett, on stage. What was he doing? I turned back to Rene and she nodded as if to say 'Go. I understand'. I walked as quickly as I could without tripping over to Edward and Rosalie.

"I'm going to kill him." I heard her hiss. Edward was tense, but the only thing he would do was grab my hand. What was going on with them? I did the most reasonable thing I could do. Turn towards the stage to wait and see what Emmy was going to do.

RPOV

Deader than dead. That's what my husband was going to be. All of a sudden Alice popped up beside me, without Jasper.

"He's on stage with him Rose, and this isn't going to end well for Bella." She whispered .

BPOV

"Alright everyone, I being the best man, have decided to sing the couple a little song. Hit it Jasper!" If there was one thing I knew, this was going to be worse than the newborns. All of a sudden, 'Our Song' by Taylor Swift came on and Emmett began to sing. **(AN: When Emmett sings it's **normal typing**, When Jasper sings it's bold. (lyrics in parentheses mean the line above it is being sang at the same time) Got it?) **

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car  
He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel  
The other on my…..

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AN: Just to say, it's an evolution of Dance type thing, only he switches songs and doesn't dance much. If you've never seen The Evolution of Dance, go watch it on youtube now! It's ama-za-zing! See? It's so awesome in needs three syllables in amazing.

**Love Always,  
DawnsxEclipse**


	3. Emmett the Idiot

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight, but I do own a copy of Pride and Predujuce.  
Also, this story kinda sucks, I think. OH! Before I forget...**

**Disclaimer (goes for Our Song in the last chapter too!)- I don't own the rights to any and all of the songs.  
ALLON-Y!**

BPOV

**Humuhumunukunukua'Pua'A,**

**Makihiki malahini-who**

**Humuhumunukunukua'Pua'A, **

**Ooh……**

I'm on the hunt I'm after you  
Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd  
And I'm hungry like the

**Y-M-C-A.  
They have everything for you men to enjoy,  
You can hang out with all**

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps

At this point I buried my head into Edward's chest. Seriously, did Emmett love to publicly embarrass me?

**U can't touch this **

**U can't touch this  
U can't touch this**

(oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)

**U can't touch this**

(oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)

**My-my-my-my**

love, but you don't care  
So what is right and what is wrong  
Gimme a sign  
What is love  
Oh baby, don't hurt me  
Don't hurt me no more

**Oh baby, don't hurt me  
Don't hurt me no more  
What is**

I love the nightlife

I've got to boogy on the

**Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.**  
**Well now**

Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low

At this point Emmett started to dance like in the video for the song

I ain't never seen something that'll make me go

**Walk like an egyptian**

And now Jasper was literaly 'walking' like an egyptian

**  
Walk like**

The entire human race, will float into space.  
So fill your souls with cement,  
And kiss the ones you love,  
With

**All your reasons**

**Wake up **

**I don't need it**

**I can't listen to**

Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho  
Our temple's had a fair share of rabbis in the past  
But most of 'em were nudniks and none of 'em would last  
But our new guy's real kosher, I tyhink he'll do the trick  
I tell ya, he's to dies for - he really knows

**you can't control yourself any longer  
Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger  
Don't you fight it 'til you tried it, do that conga**

I turned to Rose to tell her that Emmett was dead when I saw that Rose and Alice were going on stage to stop this. I sighed in relif, thank you lord.

Esme POV

How could the boys do this to Bella?! They're going to get it big time when this wedding is over. **(AN- **_**when you see this, Alice is singing, **__when you see this, Rosalie is singing, __**a**__n__**d**__ w__**h**__e__**n**__ y__**o**__u __**s**__e__**e **__t__**h**__i__**s**__, __**B**__e__**l**__l__**a **__i__**s **__s__**i**__n__**g**__i__**n**__g)_

Baby, bye, bye, bye...  
Bye bye  
Don't really wanna make it tough,  
I just wanna tell you that I had enough.  
It might sound crazy,  
But it ain't no lie,  
Baby, bye, bye, bye  
**(oh, oh)**

**With his heart beatin' fast! **

_**They make it sound like a track meet, gross!  
**_**Yeah, then all they can do is say** "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

**Reproduction**_**, reproduction**_!  
Baby, give it to me now.  
**Reproduction**, _**reproduction**_!  
_Is that all you think about?_

Rosalie sang as she slapped Emmett

(R,EM,J,& A sing) Reproduction!  
_**Come on baby show me that you really love me so!  
O**__h__**h**__h, __**I**__ t__**h**__i__**n**__k __**I**__'__**m**__ g__**o**__n__**n**__a __**t**__h__**r**__o__**w**__ u__**p**__!_

Where does the pollen go?

Finally the stupid song was over and after Bella's reddened face returned to normal everyone stopped laughing and went back to the party. While I was counting down the minutes until I got to yell at Jasper some, and Emmett a lot. After all, Emmett is always the mastermind behind the stupid schemes.


	4. Playlist

Here's the playlist for all the songs I used

**Playlist**

**Our Song- Taylor Swift**

**Humuhumnukunuka'Pua'A- HSM 2**

**Hungry Like the Wolf- Duran Duran**

**Y.M.C.A- The Village People**

**My Humps- Black Eyed Peas**

**U Can't Touch This- M.C. Hammer**

**What is Love Reloaded (Radio Edit)- Haddaway**

**I Love the Nightlife- Alicia Bridges**

**Stayin' Alive- Bee Gees**

**Low (Feat. T- Pain)- Flo Rida**

**Walk Like an Egyptian- The Bangels**

**Reckless Abandonment- The Spill Canvas**

**All Your Reasons- Matchbox Twenty**

**Pretty Fly for a Rabbi- Weird Al Yankovik**

**Conga- Gloria Estaban**

**Bye, Bye, Bye- N SYNC**

**Reproduction- Grease 2**

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Hope you enjoyed the story and I really do promise to update EY more!

**Love Always,  
DawnsxEclipse**


	5. Sequels Soon!

Claimer- I'm back in business

**Claimer- I'm back in business! -does happy dance-**

**Hey everyone, it's DxE!**

**BIG NEWS! (That's good)**

**(No EY isn't coming back, not yet at least)**

**I'm resuming my writing! **

**I've decided to write a few more one shots like The Evolution of Emmett**

**There will be one for every Cullen & perhaps even Charlie!**

**So, look for The Jive of Jasper coming soon.**

**BIG NEWS (That's Bad)**

**Unfortunately, I don't have as much free time as I did in the summer**

**& I'm really behind on homework.**

**So instead of all the chapters at once, you're going to have to -shudders-**

**wait.**

**Until next time,  
DawnsxEclipse**


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